Alright, just to give some context about this post. My Great Aunt Susan Consey, from my mom's mom side, wrote me a facebook message waking me up at 5 AM concerning one of my FB posts. This is the said message:
Keith I just saw a post (of yours) can' t find it now... But it was about the pope. It's these times that I feel so far away... I guess cuz I really don't know you or who you were... Of if you want me to know you or the things you might be thinking of? There are times when just being a g-aunt isn't what you've been thinking.
At first I was just going to ignore it for a while... okay yes I was awake at 5 am when she sent this. But when I woke up this morning I decided I might as well answer her in full. Thus I typed out this monster.
Yeah, I have had a unique life due to my dad's career, it sorta has distanced me from the rest of my relatives.
Currently who I think I am is someone who likes a good joke, I can seem very mean and rough, sometimes borderline rude but really I am just struggle with the generous sweetheart I have always been as a child and my developing desire to longer being walked all over by the rest of the world.
I like to believe I am very intelligent and bright, I have a higher then normal reading comprehension rate and I can retain information incredibly well. I am very good at reading people, picking up their personalities, traits and I have a strong complicity for empathy. I pride myself in always always trying to think like another and seeing the world though someone else eyes first before making a decision concerning them.
Recently I have gotten very good at obtaining free stuff from my friends. I guess I have become a pro moucher? Not something I am too proud of but I never ask for anything everything is always offered.
Recently I have put more stock in the idea that if you need something if you wait long enough and sorta hold faith, the universe will somehow provided it.
My religion is hard to explain. I would say I am agnostic. My relationship with any god has become very shaky.
I try talking to him or it or anything all the time. Generally questions, like why am I here, or what is the path I am suppose to follow? I ask the path question all the time.
Sometimes I get an answer, like an epiphany, or sometimes it's shown to me, like I run into an opportunity.
I feel like it is very important for me to stay on this path, like it is the reason why things are provided to me.
I don't know what dictates the path. Be it the Judo-ichristian-islamic God or fate, but all the same I ask for guidance and try to stay on course.
I have a strong sense of morals, based off of a combination of my love for Japanese honor codes, medieval chivalry, my dad's military background and my light catholic upbringing.
1.regardless of my faith I follow the ten commandments, they make sense in terms of running a society.
2.Owe anyone little maintian a balanced relationship
4. ALL humans are equal, just in far different ways
4. Stick to the path.
5. Hold open doors, say thank you everytime, and look people in the eyes,
6. Give what you can to those with nothing.
7.Take only what is given.
I love film. I LOVE story telling and I love exploring human nature though it. I daydream all the time my oscar acceptance speech.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life. I have a hard time planing into the future and I can barely think past tomorrow.
I am terrible with money. I don't save nearly as much as I should. which is probably not true as I currently place 2/3 of my paycheck into a savings account and I have already begun my IRA. I just have an immense fear of the future. It is almost crippling.
Also I am a terrrible student. I will blow homework, I mean it I will literally just not do it and not take any steps to save my grade. I have had four Fs my college career. I just allow myself to self dustruct.
However any class I don't have an F in I get an A or at the very least a B. Inconsistences in the education system.
I am extremely lazy. But for the right cause I will work as hard or harder than anyone.
I am an Eagle scout, I take pride in that.
I support Homosexual marriage. All people are equal, and I know several same sex couples who are far more loyal and caring than most marriages that exist.
I think the government is without a doubt 100% a police state and trying to kill a huge majority off.
I believe pop culture has become engineered to dumb us down.
I believe in extraterrestrial life, as it is statistically impossible for it not to exist.
Though I have little faith in organized religion I love studing in it. So far I have taken four Religion classes, Aced all of them. They were one of the few classes I put more then minimum effort.
thats another thing. I am a minimum effort person. that should be rule 4. I think. Do the minimum. Kinda of a Daoist approach. Don't be a rock that struggles against the current, be the leaf that allows the river to take it downstream. Follow the path with minimum effort.
Most of my thoughts are philosophical in nature. How do we know, what is truth, again what is my purpose.
Though I love to play out narratives in my head, I have a very strong imagination. It ties into the storyteller in me.
Just recently about three years ago I met a girl and feel into what I thought was love. however things did not work out at all.
She sits in my mind. I constantly run the events though my head over and over again, most times I am not even aware i started doing it.
It is torturous and I have really only just now started getting over it.
There's been other girls in between her, but you know not the same.
She has changed a lot the last year and half and it kinda feels like one of my best friends has died and been replace with someone totally different. I'd say 45% of my Facebook status are secretly about her.
I think soon someone new will appear in my life. I keep getting this feeling like I am going to be somewhere and just sorta run into a new adventure.
If I could have a super power it would be tied between teleporting to anyplace I have seen or seen a picture of and reading minds.
I hope that when I die I can become part of the cosmos and can just watch everything. I would love to just watch a rock see all the things that happen to it. what interacts with it.
Of course we talked before of my nerdy hobbies, I like miniatures and role-playing and video games.
I wish I could live in a space opera or Star Wars.
When I am in public, I always want to just ask those around me what they are thinking, who they think they are and who they want to be. So it was nice to be asked that myself. Thank you
I suggest everyone just sit down and write what they think about themselves. If anything it kinda feels good.
Best
Keith
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