by the time the bar closes and you feel like falling down. I'll carry you home

 Dear Past self,     
 Take comfort in knowing that no matter how old you are you will always love just typing down all of your mundane thoughts. If the by off chance we get famous future generations will know what we were thinking and how we felt at any moment in our lives! This may or may not affect our political career.

Another piece of advice, something that I have slowly been applying to my life and truly have begun to realize is exactly how inunique we are. Here's the only example you will care about; everyone has the same exact relationship with Paige. You are just one of a hundred it seems like. Fortunately we learned in the 9th grade that to impress a girl and being "worthy" doesn't mean shit. It demostrates low self worth and basicly just serves to piss the girl off. It doesnt matter if you're "worthy". Let me explain how the world works. No one deserves anyone.

 At first that seems pretty dark right? In a sense yes, but I'm not saying everyone is a horrible person and by some sense of justice we all deserve to only die alone, no-but of course you would go  straight there at your age. What I mean by this is, we are all human beings, no-one is greater then anyone else (except celeberties, beautiful people, legal tax payers and the rich). A majority of the sane non-spoiled bad egg girls don't see them selves like you do, they know their every fault, so they feel when you elavate them you are lying to them. In a sense you are objectifing them.  Ironic right? Here you are trying to unobjectify them, show them you see all their strengths and try to say they are objects of vaule, but instead you're still making them objects, you are taking away their humanity. People only every want to be treated like people, like equals. And thats part of the reasoning behind how I/we treat the girls I/we like now and days; like everyone else.  Do you see what I am trying to get at here? Putting someone on the pedistool is taking away thier faults, and failings are exactly what make us human. Loving someone is taking everything and then dealing with it. That is a small part of why assholes win.

Another thing we kinda learned today. If you didn't win her then, the chances are you never will.
You only really get one shot.  Honestly you should only ever need one shot. Unfortunately we will not be able to apply this lesson for a very long time. Probably never. Let me tell you we thought about it, just cutting Paige off. It wasn't easy and we even tried to like slowly stop. It's not going to happen. Paige is now ever more so a part of us, the relationship between us is a defining part of who we are. She affects the decisions we make, its don't not like we change our entire life for her, cleary not otherwise we would be trapped in Sahvanna hating all existance, but she is sitll in the thought process as a hey would she approve of this just like we think hey would blake approve of this or would my mom approve of this? To be us we need Paige, its just how it is going to work from now on. 

Third, today we thought Im not like that guy because I have a chance at 27 to "win". I am not Brett. Nor am I Chaz, nor am I John or that fuckface Skylar. I am not one of Paiges lovers or even a real ex. We are a boy who wandered into her 8th grade year tripped into love (or some sort of obessive love lust) and cause a few problems, moved and then helped her form her life. I used to think I climbed out of the friendzone. My young friend that hasn't happened. We are still in the friend zone. Keep in mind that every thing she has said to you, she probably has said to others. 

What does this all add up to?  The main lesson that we are going to learn all though our life is very simple. "It is absolutly not about us." thats it, the sun doesnt revovle around you. We know that  and we understand what that means, but it's so hard to live, so hard to apply.  Everyone we know knows the same amount of people who have the same type of problems we do. When we take that knowledge and apply it we can understand people motives slightly better, maybe offend them less and help more. the thing is remebering to apply that.

It should be noted that not everyone knows this, and  as such you should never trust anyone again. Not with your heart at least. No one can handle it, just like perhaps you shouldnt be trusted either.

I will say that I am proud of us, today we tried very hard to not make it about us and we almost succeeded.

Paige, you know I love you, and I know you're not in love with me, and I get that you don't think you deserve all these guys who chase after you, and you're probably right, when it comes down to it you're a very ordinary girl. But also realize you got alot of things that make you worth it. I told you today I see my self in you, and you know I do, I see so much of myself in you. The procasternator, the need to please everyone, the fear of being a cause of pain. The absolute need to be accepted, love of dogs, and bad tv shows. The hiding the truth for as long as possible to avoid confrontation. The desire to just be upfront and blunt, and the attention span-if you notice I change subjects like crazy in these. I forgot the point I was making. 
I guess I love you and know I only ever say whats on my mind.

Hope honesty counts for somthing.
Also we are still avoiding a question.

Alright past me. Maybe I'll write more tomorrow because this one is already too long.

Fuck the world
love
Keith.