bet on red tonight.

Hey so last time I left you with a pretty dark message. Well thats because we are pesstimistic.
but.

I need to know something, but im not ready to ask.
other then that i think im doing a good job. im trying at least too

Ask what?
If I still love you? Or if Im coming back to camp?

only one of those is really earth shattering.

Well, the way I figure it..if Im not back at camp, I may never see you again. That seems earth shattering to me.

No you cant get rid of my that easily

And, even though you get on my nerves sometimes and we bump heads occasionally I'll always love you Keith
Promise?
Im starting to rack up frequent flyer miles haha
it takes a ton to get to Hawaii though

You know.
I think Im going to change my question.
Will we ever be a couple again?
I know you'll always love me as a friend. I dont doubt that.

It's hard to be a couple so far from one another. but, maybe.
Ill always love you as more than a friend. always.
now your silent.                                         EDITOR: I am typing out my response. slow typer.

well, I dont care about how far away we are.
I get it'll be hard, but if you comit to me I
Promise right here... no wait I want to face to face promise you this.
but I will make this work, I want this to work, need this to work.
I said it before I'll wait for you to fully trust me again, I'll wait a very very long time (im not imortal so I cant last forever)
You told me we were getting married.
Well I believe you.
well now look who's silent.  EDITOR: She goes offline. I call her. no answer. two minutes later she's back.

well thats quite a lot to take in
are you sure you dont just love the idea of me?

Oh here's this again
 EDITOR:all the time with this. Does she not understand this is the conflicting issue of life? How does one know when they are friends with more then just the idea of the person. whos to say we are not all just ideas I digres.

Im just asking... Jaron swore up and down he was in love with me but, he really just loved the idea of me.
let's just say its happened before.

Am I an idea?
I know there are parts of you
I havent met yet
just like theres parts of me you havent seen
we;ll never really truelly know till we tried
I can say this

fair enough

If I just wanted a girlfriend I could have just went and got a girlfriend.
I know we both like comic books.
I know we both like Cartoons.
I know we both love children.
I know that your smile makes me smile.
I know that I have stayed up to 3am multiple times just because there was still more to learn about you.
I know that you are the sweetest most caring person I have ever meet and you have never asked for anything in return for your kindness.
I know that you have massive insecurities
I know you are high maintance
I know you have problems.
I know that every part of you I do know I love, flaws and all and that just makes me want to know the parts i havent seen yet.
Do you need me to keep going?
I made it a point always
to know you as a person.
Ana Tyler Oleander it doesnt matter what name you go by because I feel like I know you as a person pretty well. and I Love you. EDITOR:This was ripped from your heart, good job.   

well now you made me cry

I am sorry, but you are a bit high maintance dear, and I am only trying to be honest.

its not bad tears. Im not THAT high maintenance haha

So when ever you're ready. Will you give us another go?
I know alot people make promises to you and fail to keep them.
But none of them are as stubborn as I am when I make promises.
If you give me another chance I will not let you down. Thats a 110% Keith geruntee (which Im having trouble spelling right now.)

be patient with me. Im in limbo with a lot of things right now so, Im just not ready. Im not sure I can get back to camp this year which is killing me. I started modeling again to pay bills while Im here and I hate it. My brother is sick, my mum is nuts. Im a little bit of a mess.

I know. and I also know that I have like a bad way of showing I know that. I don't need an answer, you basically telling me you'll always love basically answers my question.
I promised I'd wait a very very long long time
I will wait a very very long long time 
Always remember I am here to support you.
Also know I will drop everything if you need me there.

FAST FOWARD

What makes you happy?

adventure time, losing weight, hiking, camp, modeling (sometimes), kids, my puppy, Graham, being outside, the beach, looking at pictures of other people, books, coloring, the way my skin feels after a hot shower, music, camping, movies (most of the time, sometimes they're sad), watching my dad work on his projects, tan lines, the time I came downstairs at camp and you stopped everything just to hug me and tell me I looked nice, my baby blanket ( I know thats lame), cooking for people, horses.....

Good  the first step is knowing what makes you happy, Knowing is half the battle, what what.
you know what one of my happiest moments ever was?

?

Still being awake when the sun came open and
open?
i mean up
you sleeping in my arms
Or your meat potato magic creation.

I still dont know why you were awake
hahah shepards pie

I was afraid that I was going to lose you.
I really didn't understand the whole "I don't want to miss a thing" cliche until then. Sleeping felt like I was wasting what little time I had left.

You can't lose me. not then not now.
well kinda now, Im going to bed haha. I'll be up soon.
- blows kiss, night keith.


When it comes to the oppisite sex we never know what to expect. Everything can just fall apart for no reason one day.  Either everything we've said and been told about love is true, or it's not. It's that simple. Happiness is found on the middle path, balance your hope with critism Keith. One day we'll learn how and then our future predictions will become more before then every before.

Good job buddy. Now lets not blow it.

DONT FUCK UP
Keith

We'll never learn.

I remember in the 9th grade during that period of shit, there was a football game. What made that game special was to be the pinnacle of it all. Oakley came up to us and said

"Keith stay after the game, Paige wants to talk to you."

Our heart dropped.

"About what?" easy first question, today I know Oakley knew. she didn't have the heart to tell us.

"i dunno just stick around after the game."

We were so excited, we thought this was it, we were going to drop the biggest apology ever, and she'd be our friend again and everything would be cool.

The game ends, I don't remember the score.  What was it do you know? Oh wait,  here comes Paige, its dark you really can't see her face, and to be honest her make up doesn't help out all. (Freshman girls, the worst bud start aiming higher). OH she's right on us say something now as fast as you fucking can just fucking spiel it out.
"You wanted to talk?" Oh you fucking idiot you did it now, your one chance to just say everything on your mind and you blew it.

She explodes on you. Someone had been telling her that you were talking shit. You defend yourself. She pretends to believe you, doesn't tell you who been spreading lies. It's not like she'd remember now.

That was the deepest cut ever. That always happens. Everytime you build up to something a girl will come and cut open your thoat.

Ana said about 21 minutes ago. That 5:01 our time 11:21 her time. Skype in a little.
that was after you told her I still love you. That was after you told her you cant sleep because of her.

She's going to leave. She'll probably wait till you pass out and then She'll forget that she ever said she was goingto skype you.

Never forget this lesson.

Break every fucking heart you can first.
And don't stop breaking hearts in Decemeber of 2011, becaus Paige will get you again.
and don't stop in that summer.

Your happiness is destined to only last 3 months. Take everything while you can.



Don't worry.  You'll never live that advice.


also, buy better dice.
Fuck the world still
Keith.

Never trust anyone with a British accent. Or a Floridian.

Do you know why I fucking hate you?
is cause in the end after all the times you told me you love me. All the times you told me not to break your heart or to leave you. You fucking left me behind, you forgot me like I never mattered.
Fuck you and your innocent act. You know why I tried to just pretend like I didnt like you the first time I fucking saw you? becuase you are fucking trouble, I saw that shit coming a mile away.


What I hate the fucking most? I still let you have my heart, and what fustrates me the most? I still love you.